FEMA camps.....

I have an older brother who is a history/money buff. There is nothing he likes better then to study the history of money. Over twenty five years ago, he wrote his master's thesis on the very things that are occuring today in our economy. Basically, the thesis told of what was to come if the U.S. didn't go back to the 'Gold standard'.

He use to rage on about something called the "Federal Reserve" and endlessly rant about the federal government taking over our lives. Then he'd start on the thieves and hoodlums who would run rampant once our currency collapsed and our society fell apart. This would take him back to his original rant about the Federal Reserve.

More times that not, brother would go on to describe in great detail what happens when the government gets too powerful and a nation's economy falls. "They'll start throwing the citizenry into containment camps", he'd fume.

As a family, we would collectively roll our eyes and proclaim, "he's so smart, it's a shame he's so crazy".

Well, the government has pretty much taken over and it's obvious that they have just gotten started. The Federal Reserve is doing everything in their considerable power to make my meager savings worthless, and I did witness what all happens when the government tells folks to get to a central gathering place during a disaster (Katrina). Just the thought of that many over-flowing toilets, like there was at the Saint's Stadium, would make me choose to swim with the gators.

Anyway - I don't know if FEMA camps are in the near future for this country, but I do know one thing. I ain't goin. They can call it a 'Pig Parlor' and offer free spa treatments for me AND my pig, but I'm not going'.

I guess this is a prime example of "eating crow". I rant and rage all the day long about what's happening right now in this country and folks call me crazy. However I must say, those who think FEMA camps aren't possible in this country, are fewer and farther between.

Lord help, the pig's GONE...

I go into the barn this morning to take new piglet some scrambled eggs (I read raw eggs caused some sort of problem in pigs), look into her stall and she was GONE. I blinked real hard and she was STILL gone. I start looking for the hole she dug out of and there's NO hole. So I blink some more, b/c while I may not know much about pigs, I know they don't just disappear. Oh S***, I see nothing left but her tail which is only a very small stub really. She didn't come with a tail. Aren't pigs supposed to have a tail? Anyway, I start looking for the way a predator got in and ate my pig. As I get closer, I realize that she's whole, but is covered with hay - and I mean masterfully covered with hay. I just put enough hay in there to make her a small bed, but non-the-less she is almost completely covered. Well great, she's whole, but she's obviously dead b/c there's NO movement at ALL. My first thought is, "oh no, I killed her with the whole de-lousing fiasco". I took my foot and shook her butt. She JUMPED straight into the air a couple of feet. Scared me to death, so I screamed and then she screamed in return. I guess she was so sound asleep from the stress of yesterday that she just didn't hear all the noise. Penelope is fine, rested, bug-free and she very much enjoyed her scrambled eggs. I however, am traumatized again and am going back to bed.

The big pig adventure....

Well Cat and I went to an auction this morning, but there really wasn't much there so we decided to swing by a pig farm and look at some piglets on the way back home.

LOOK being the operative word. Cat LOOKED and is going back next week to get her piglet which will be weaned by then. I announced, "I'm not leaving here without a little pig today" and I chose from 4 that were ready to go.

I picked out my little pink pig and "Bubba" (yes, his name), grabbed said piglet by her leg and walked towards the trailer carrying her out to his side. WAYYYY out to his side. Cat and I looked at each other and shrugged. We assumed that was the proper way to carry a pig. We both know less about pigs than we do our jerseys.

Got Penelope home and immediately into the tub. As I'm scrubbing her nasty little behind, I see her spots MOVING. LICE - covered wit LICE. I mean COVERED with hundreds, maybe even thousands, of big hairy lice.

Well this sent me into a frenzy trying to call "Bubba" to see what I can use on this piglet to kill these bugs NOW. Bubba didn't answer. Lol - I figure he knew they were eaten up with lice which is why he carried it to the trailer the way he did in the first place.

I calmed down long enough to realize that I have the internet now and could just look lice treatment up myself. I thought briefly of getting on the KFC 911 but figured that would get me into trouble, especially after the whole, 'my castrated calf looks icky back there' bit.

Anyway, Penelope is resting comfortably in the tub right now wrapped in a big, fluffy, chemically sprayed towel. I'm waiting for the livestock spray to kill the lice and carefully watching her skin in case of any reaction to the spray.

I am also ITCHING all over. Bubba wasn't nice enough to give me a heads-up on the bug situation, so I carried Penelope into the house, hugged up close so I could calm her. Fortunately, I put her directly into the tub to bath her, so I discovered the lice right away. She is INFESTED times 10.

Now, I must admit that I am just a tad put out with Bubba. While I know this is a pig, HE knew I was going to take her into my house, bath her and dress her up cute for some 'first' pics. LOL - While Cat was asking, "at what age should I butcher the pig?", I'm asking, "what kind of shampoo should I use?".

Anyway - will be posting a pic soon. It's of her still in the tub, still wrapped in said nice, fluffy towel while I have a glass of wine (it was that or peanut butter) to calm my itchy nerves!!!

Lol, Rhonda....

My girlfriend is a real estate agent and a very good one at that. She always tries her best to build a good working relationship with all her clients.

Throughout her many emails over the years, Rhonda would talk to clients about their struggles, hardships, and various stresses. No matter what the subject or how serious it was, Rhonda always signed off, "lol, Rhonda". If she talked to someone about a death in the family, she still signed off, "lol, Rhonda".

Not long ago, I wrote "lol" in front of something I sent to Rhonda and I could tell that she was confused. She asked me why I added the "lol". "Because I thought it was funny" I said. She finally asked me what exactly 'lol' meant. I told her it meant 'laughing out loud". She quickly interjected, "and it can mean 'lots of love' too". "No", I said, "it doesn't mean anything of the sort".

Now I can smell denial a mile away. I told her again that it did not refer to 'lots of love' in any way. Again she argued with me.

She eventually admitted that she had been signing all her emails, 'lol, Rhonda', thinking it meant 'lots of love' and had been doing so for years.

How wonderfully appropriate that the funniest person I know had inadvertently signed all her emails, "lol, Rhonda"!