Poor Grey...

Let me say before I begin that Grey gets paid well to help me around here. The worse the job, the better the pay. This was one of those 'better paying' gigs.

This morning I needed help moving cattle panels, setting them up and getting my jersey bull, Rutherford, into the pen. Apparently pretty wooden horse fencing will not hold in a bull who is being teased by my neighbor's angus hos across the way, necessitating the need for a new bull pen of iron cattle panels. Also, I need to explain that jersey bulls are notoriously ill tempered and even though Rutherford is still very young, I treat him like a loaded weapon. Particularly since my neighbor was killed by his bull just a couple of years ago. I'm telling you, it's rough out here!

Anyway, I needed to do this project early this morning and it was very cold. I called my son, told him to get out of his warm bed, get dressed and come down to the barn to help. Although Grey isn't into animals, early mornings or cold whether, he was reasonably agreeable.

After we had set up the new pen, I started thinking about how to go about getting Rutherford from the barn into the pen. I decided I would shake a bucket of food and have him follow me sweetly into the pen. Now this is how I planned things, but you know how plans have a way of turning into fiascos, so I told Grey to get into the tack room and I handed him a hoe. In answer to the puzzled look on his face, I told him not to come out of the tack room unless the bull had me down, in which case he was to get busy. I could tell he was still rather confused and/or asleep. As intelligent as he is, animals are a complete mystery to him and he had no idea what he was supposed to do with the hoe. I explained that if I was down, he was to take that hoe and hit that bull across the nose as hard as he could and if he couldn't get to his nose, "just start trying to hack up his spine". To Grey's credit, he just nodded and got into the tack room with no commentary about why I was allowed to run around loose.

As I was explaining to Grey what he was going to have to do if I was down, I realized what an amazing kid he was to listen to this nonsense in the cold and not throw down the hoe and tell me, "no can do" as he headed back to the house. Also, in the back of my mind I could hear someone saying, "how'd she die" to which someone else would say, "well the fool was mud wrestling with her bull and got wacked with hoe".

If you're wondering, the bull did indeed follow me sweetly into the pen and the hoe was not needed after all.

Ivana Trump

Apparently Ivana had enough of being subjected to people's ill-behaved kids while trapped inside a airplane and lost her cool. I get it. I applauded the airline who turned the plane around after take-off to kick off a mother and her two year old. YES!!! If you can't control your children, maybe you should stay home with them.

Now I know that children are unpredictable and even the best behaved children can have a bad day, but come on, we know that's not usually the case. Usually these children are 'parented' (and I use this term loosely) by a mom or dad who seem to think everything their little darling does is cute. Or maybe it's just easier for mom and dad to let them run wild and get into everyone else's hair as long as they themselves are being left alone. If most parents were responsible and disciplined their kids for the kids' sake as well as that of the public at large, and the screaming kid was the exception and not the rule, I think folks would be a bit more patient.

If a smoker got onto an airplane and lit a cigarette and blew smoke in someone's face, they would be arrested. Am I saying parents of ill-behaved kids should be arrested? Maybe. Stress is a killer and NOTHING stresses many people out like someone's obnoxious kid invading their personal space and piercing their eardrums. Unfortunately, I don't see imprisonment in the future of these inconsiderate parents, but I do have an idea.

Bad kid sections. You remember the old smoking sections? Put all of those with ill-behaved kids and their parents in the bad kid section (BKS) and charge these parents for the privilege to cover the cost of the necessary soundproofing. If you're in Walmart and your kid starts screaming, you must leave the store or go straight to the BKS and stay until your child is under control. And remember the BKS is not free and it's just FULL of screaming, spoiled and obnoxious kids. How long do you think it would take for these parents to teach these kids to mind if they had to be cooped up with all the screaming kids in the plane/restaurant/store and it cost them money? I'm willing to bet, not very long. I'm also willing to bet tax payers would save a bundle on the reduced prisoner populations that would be a natural consequence of having a society where children are parented.

Why is it that some of the most obnoxious and stressful situations are excused because the perpetrators are children. These are the most obnoxious creatures in the world!

Now I was as appalled as everyone else when the guy at Walmart actually slapped a small child who was pitching a fit. I wondered why he didn't slap the mama instead. It would have been much more appropriate and the jury might have better understood his outburst.

Ask most people if they would rather be slapped once or have to listen to a screaming kid for an hour. Slap me please!

I've been 'used' by a cow...

I think cows are 'those' kind of mothers. You know the ones I'm referring to. They are always dropping off their kids for "just a few minutes". It's always those of us who have such a hard time saying "no" that end up keeping everyone's kids all the time. Before I bought Eunice, I use to watch my neighbor's herd of angus (he has about 100 head). I noticed that the baby calfs were usually together and there was always one or two mama moos standing watch over anywhere from 15-25 calfs on any given day. Now I don't know if the same one or two mamas where always there or if cows take turns babysitting. However, I suspect that the babysitters were usually the same poor cows watching everyone else's babies just like with humans. Well, Eunice and I usually bring in her baby at night together. I pull baby's halter and she pushes from behind until we have him in the barn. Well last night, Eunice stood in front of the barn mooing for her baby to come on so she could get inside and get her dinner which she knows is waiting. I headed toward the calf with lead rope in hand and as soon as she saw that I was on top of the situation, she walked right on into the barn and proceeded to eat while I was left to deal with her baby. While I'm happy that Eunice trusts me with her baby, I know this is how it always starts and that before long, she will be dumping that baby on me all the time!